Do You Have a Favourite Child?

Nov 06, 2025

Jealous child tries to get mother's attention away from her brother

It’s been impossible to miss the recent headlines about the royal family — particularly all the talk about who was (or wasn’t) the late Queen’s 'favourite'. It’s one of those stories that stirs up a lot of conversation because, whether we admit it or not, most of us have wondered at some point: do parents secretly have a favourite child?

As someone who spends a lot of time helping little people cope with big feelings, I find this question fascinating. Because whether or not a parent actually favours one child over another, the feeling of being more (or less) loved can have a lasting emotional impact.

What Favouritism Can Look Like

Parental preference doesn’t always show up as something obvious or deliberate. It might be that one child shares more of a parent’s interests, or has a similar temperament that just feels easier to relate to. Another might be more challenging — perhaps more sensitive, strong-willed, or anxious — and the relationship takes a little more conscious effort.

Children are incredibly perceptive. Even small differences in tone, praise, or attention can feel enormous to them. So while parents may believe they’re treating their children equally, the child’s experience of that can tell a different story.

The Favourite Child’s Feelings

It might sound like being the favourite is an enviable position, but it can come with its own emotional weight. A favoured child may feel pressure to maintain their “special” status, or guilt if they notice their sibling being treated differently. They may even find sibling relationships more difficult, sensing resentment or distance from their brother or sister.

And for the Other Child(ren)

Children who believe they’re less favoured can experience deep feelings of sadness, anger, or inadequacy. They might try harder to “win” approval, or, conversely, give up and pull away emotionally. Either way, it can impact self-esteem and sibling harmony.

When Boundaries Slip for the Favourite Child

Another challenge that can appear when one child is favoured is inconsistency in discipline. Sometimes parents find it harder to say “no” or to hold a beloved child accountable — perhaps because they feel protective or want to preserve the warm connection. We’ve seen echoes of this in recent public discussions about Andrew Mountbatten Windsor (formerly Prince Andrew), with some commentators suggesting that a lack of firm boundaries earlier in life may have played a part in later difficulties.

When rules or expectations aren’t applied evenly, it can send confusing messages to everyone involved. The favoured child may come to believe the usual limits don’t apply to them, which can make navigating adult relationships and responsibilities harder. Meanwhile, siblings can feel angry or powerless when they see “one rule for them and another for me.” Balanced boundaries, though sometimes uncomfortable in the moment, are a real act of love — they show every child that the adults in their lives care enough to guide them.

What Parents Can Do

The good news is that awareness goes a long way. Parents don’t have to be perfect — they just need to be reflective. Here are a few small, practical things that can make a big difference:

Notice your patterns. Are there moments when you naturally gravitate towards one child? Try to balance this with one-to-one time with the other(s).
Celebrate differences. Each child has their own strengths, needs, and quirks. Acknowledging that out loud helps everyone feel seen.
Encourage empathy among siblings. Help children understand that love isn’t a limited resource — that one person’s special moment doesn’t mean less for someone else.
Apologise and repair. If you catch yourself responding unfairly, name it and make it right. It models emotional honesty and shows that relationships can recover.

At the end of the day, most parents don’t mean to have favourites — but real family life is messy, and feelings can get tangled. What matters most is keeping communication open and remembering that every child, no matter how easy or challenging, needs to feel that deep, secure sense of being cherished for exactly who they are.

Because when children know they are loved unconditionally, even those big feelings of jealousy, frustration, or insecurity become just a little easier to bear.

Warmest wishes