Hello and welcome back! It’s been a little while since the last blog post, and I wanted to say thank you for your patience and let you know that I have a full programme of new posts planned.

After listening to feedback from many of you, I’ve decided to make a small change: instead of weekly blog posts and videos, I’ll now be sharing a single, thoughtful blog post each month—with no video—so it’s easier for you to read at your own pace, without needing to find time to sit and watch.

This month, I’m diving into a topic quite a few parents have asked me to cover: how to set healthier smartphone boundaries with our children—without damaging the relationship. Whether your child is still in primary school or well into their teens, these phone battles are so common, and this post is full of practical ideas that I hope will make things feel a bit more manageable.

It’s a familiar story in so many families: arguments over phone use, battles over screen time, and a growing distance between parents and their children—whether they’re eight or eighteen. If you often feel like the "bad cop" for taking your child's phone away or limiting their time online, you are far from alone.

Smartphones and tablets are a massive part of children's lives today, and while they bring some benefits (staying in touch with friends, exploring hobbies, even managing anxiety with calming apps), the downsides can quickly start to outweigh them. From sleep disruption and emotional overstimulation to exposure to content they’re not ready for, phones can create real challenges.

So how do we, as parents, set clear boundaries while also protecting our connection with our children—no matter their age?

1. Start With Curiosity, Not Control

Before setting limits, take time to understand what your child is using their phone for. Ask questions like:

• “What do you enjoy doing on your phone the most?”

• “What makes it hard to put your phone down?”

These conversations help your child feel seen and respected, which makes them more open to hearing your concerns.

2. Create Phone Guidelines Together

Rather than handing down rules, involve your child in making a "phone agreement." For example:

• No phones at the dinner table or during homework

• Charging phones overnight outside the bedroom

• A clear cut-off time in the evening

When children help set the rules, they’re more likely to stick to them.

3. Be Consistent, Not Confrontational

Once boundaries are agreed, stick to them calmly and consistently. If your child breaks the agreement, focus on repair, not punishment. Try:

• “I noticed we agreed phones would be out of bedrooms overnight. Can we talk about what happened?”

This keeps the door open for discussion instead of conflict.

4. Protect Time for Real-World Connection

Suggest activities that don’t involve screens—but don’t take it personally if your child resists at first! Keep things low-pressure and invite, rather than insist. Ideas could include things like:

• A walk with your child’s favourite music playing

• A shared cooking challenge

• A board game or family movie night (yes, still screen time—but shared!)

Connection often builds or is maintained in small moments like these, you don't need to make big plans.

5. Model the Balance You Want to See

It’s not always easy, but the best way to influence your child’s phone habits is to model healthy tech boundaries yourself. Try putting your own phone away during meals or switching off notifications in the evening. Children notice more than we think!

You’re Not the Bad Cop

Setting boundaries with technology can feel like an uphill struggle, especially when it seems to create tension. But by approaching the issue with empathy, clarity, and teamwork, you’re doing something far more powerful than just limiting screen time: you’re building trust.

Remember, it’s not about being perfect. It’s about staying connected and protecting your child from harm.  

To read another post from the blog archive on the dangers of too much screen time click here. 

Further Support for Parents Navigating Smartphones & Children

Here are some useful resources for UK and international families looking for more help:

• Internet Matters (UK) – Practical tools and age-specific advice for managing digital life.https://www.internetmatters.org

• Common Sense Media (US/global) – Trusted reviews of apps, games, films, and social platforms.https://www.commonsensemedia.org

• Digital Awareness UK – Digital wellbeing education for schools and families.https://www.digitalawarenessuk.com

• Childnet International (Global) – Family agreements and safety advice for children online.https://www.childnet.com

• eSafety Commissioner (Australia) – Comprehensive safety advice and reporting tools. https://www.esafety.gov.au

• MediaSmarts (Canada) – Media literacy education and screen time resources for families. https://mediasmarts.ca

• Hugh Grant and The Social Dilemma – Actor Hugh Grant and other public figures have spoken out about the impact of smartphone culture on children. The documentary The Social Dilemma (on Netflix) offers powerful insights worth watching with older kids or teens.

Warmest wishes

Frances x

💬 Share this post

If this post helped you, feel free to share it with a friend or fellow parent:

👉 Share on Facebook

👉 Share on Instagram
(Copy the blog link and paste it in your Instagram bio or story)

👉 Email to a friend